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New Beginnings.

January 2, 2011

And so 2011 begins. I am determined this year is going to go well for me. I know alot of people don’t see the point of centring change about New Year,  that you can change your life at any time, but I can see the allure. It’s the weight behind the ‘New’ part, like each year starts with a blank page and it’s up to you to fill it. This year I’m taking that blank page and filling it how I wish. I’m not fooling myself into thinking this will come easy, or investing too much hope in having ‘the best year yet’ but I do want to be more in control of my outcomes, as it were.

This is the first year in a while I’m starting in a different relationship. That is, I’m not with my first boyfriend anymore as 2010 was the year I said goodbye to my first love. That’s a relationship I’m always going to treasure and I do now count him as one of my best friends, but I can close the book on that particular chapter of my life. In a way that marks the end of my childhood, as I saw out the end of my teens with him. I am so looking forward to spending this year with my new(ish) boy, as I can’t think of anything I want more, he makes me happy everyday (/soppyness.)

I’m going to start the year by setting some goals. Not resolutions as such, things I would like to achieve. I suppose that is kind of the same thing. Here we go:

#1 Be healthier overall: I’m pretty healthy as it is, I rarely get ill and eat much better than most of my friends, but I think there is still room for improvement. I drank loads of water in my first year of uni but i’ve fallen out of that habit, so will attempt to resurrect that. I also think I eat way too much sugar and cutting back can only do good surely? Generally want to have a better attitude towards food than the one I developed in 2010. I also want to start running again, it’ll make me happier with my body and is supposedly good for the mind too. Finally I want to acquire proper sleeping patterns, I simply do not need as much sleep as I have most of the time and I wasted so much of last year just lying in bed. Reinstating bed time in the year I’m turning 21.

#2 Expand my cooking/baking repatoire: If there is one thing I will go as far to say that I am good at, its cooking. I want to experiment more and given the plethora of baking books I got for my birthday/Christmas, I have plenty of sources of inspiration. I enjoy cooking a lot more than actually eating, so it’s nice having someone to cook for.

#3 Write more: Something I discovered in 2010, I want to continue writing this year, whether on this blog or in articles for the student paper.  Wordpress are running a postaday/week campaign to encourage blogging, providing inspiration and encouragement  for posts.  I’m going to follow this, aiming to post once a week at least with aspirations to more than that. I think that’s realistic. I’m going to add the ‘Pressthis’ button to my browser (Chrome, if you’re interested), as I quite often see something worth writing about but then get distracted. Hopefully this will help combat that.

#4 Work harder academically: I’m beginning to think that if I put some effort into my degree I could actually get a first. Groundbreaking, I know. Need to stop being so fucking lazy and get some motivation. I think I’ll kick myself in the future if I look back and see that I could have done so much better if I hadn’t been asleep all the time. Looking at my timetable for the coming semester there are plenty of awkward gaps where it wouldn’t make sense to go home so am going to designate these as library time. Getting a desk chair for my room will help too, although my bed is right next to my desk…

#5 Get a job: This is the big one, but also the one that needs to happen soonest. The idea of getting a job has terrified me for as long as I can remember but I need to get over this fear, mostly for my own wellbeing but also because I want certain things to happen in the future that I really need money for, like not moving back in with my parents after uni.

When I started this blog I started writing a post centred around some Laura Marling lyrics that really resonate with me. I don’t think I’ll ever post that now, it would be too negative and I want to move away from that. But the idea behind it still remains: ‘Why fear death, be scared of living’. I don’t think Laura means this in a morbid way, its not an invite to take the easy way out, it’s a challenge. Life isn’t easy, it is scary and difficult. It’s normal to be afraid, but if you let the fear dominate then you end up not really living at all.  This is going to be the year that I face the fear head on and take the challenges that life throws at me.  Seems fitting to leave with the song that inspires me:

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